Avoiding Relationship Mayhem!

Relationships are a part or our everyday life and the health of those interactions affect the quality of our life much more than we think. The good news is that we have the Bible which is a book about relationships and gives us insight into

• how to maintain a healthy relationship
• how to discern those that will destroy us
• personal responsibility in relationships
• perfecting our relationship with Jesus Christ

I have complied a few nuggets of understanding that will protect you in relationships.  

1. Most believe – that if I put my best into a relationship it will work.

Not true! The best you can give is not enough for some people. God has given and done everything he knows to do and yet some people walk out of relationship with him. The Lord has given his best sacrifice, salvation, life, blessings… and yet 1000s will walk away from that relationship thinking something else is better. Your best can be rejected as not enough, because many people have unrealistic expectations of others. All of us are human and that means we have limitations. Recognizing that fact is necessary for not setting ourselves up for a fall. Expectations decide our disappointments, so if I unrealistically expect something, then I have just scheduled a date with disappointment. 

2. A third voice has the ability to destroy a healthy relationship.

You will notice below that Paul is saying that at one time their relationship was so good that the Galatians would have plucked out their eyes for him. That phrase is like us saying today “I would give my right arm for you.” However, in the next verse you see the relationship change from intimacy to enemy.

Galatians 4:15-16 (KJV)
¹⁵ Where is then the blessedness ye spake of? for I bear you record, that, if it had been possible, ye would have plucked out your own eyes, and have given them to me.
¹⁶ Am I therefore become your enemy, because I tell you the truth?

The question then must be asked “what changed it?” The following scripture gives us a little more insight to the culprit that produced this change.

Galatians 5:7 (KJV)
⁷ Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?

Everything was fine until a third voice got involved. I’m sure you have experienced this at some point in your life. It’s when you notice a friend’s demeanor change and they don’t talk as freely or show different expressions that are different than before. More often than not, another voice has gotten involved by speaking things about you that has created doubt in them concerning the relationship between the both of you. Husbands and wives run into trouble oftentimes when one of them begins listening to a third voice which has ulterior motives. Unfortunately, the third voice leads many into divorce.

Beware of the third voice!

3. When two people no longer want the same thing.

Matthew 23:37 (KJV)
³⁷ O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!

Jesus was saying “I want relationship with you but you don’t want what I want!” Two people wanting or expecting different outcomes and goals in a relationship will ultimately put them on two different paths. The word “division” can broken down to “di-vision” indicating the reason for the separation was the result of two different visions.

This proves the importance of unity and maintaining it is a priority to keeping the relationship strong and focused.

4. Know when to let go!

You have to learn to let go or it will become the most tormenting thing you’ll ever go through. You can quote scripture till you’re blue in the face… pray till the cow comes home… and some people still leave. The bottom line is that some leave because they simply want to leave and their mind is made-up. The temptation will hit you – what could I have done differently – said – and the list becomes endless. However, people have their own will and nothing you can do will change their decision. That becomes the moment when we pray for them and move on in life without tormenting ourselves with regret.

A good example is the prodigal son found in Luke 15. When reading the story you’ll take notice that the father does not chase after the boy. He realized the son had made up his mind to exit and there was nothing he could say or do to change it. The father realized that experience will have to become his son’s teacher.

You can’t keep giving them what they cannot receive! Case in point; Jesus and Judas. The Lord made every effort at the “Last Supper” to preserve the relationship between Judas and himself, and yet Judas would not receive it. Like the father of the prodigal, Jesus did not chase after Judas through the streets of Jerusalem.

In other words – you have to know when to let go!

5. Treat others the way you want treated!

Matthew 7:12 (KJV)
¹² Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

Nothing else needs to be said

Be Real!!!!

James 2:19 (KJV)
¹⁹ Thou believest that there is one God; thou doest well: the devils also believe, and tremble.

That verse blows me away so-to-speak!!! When you get the full impact of what James is saying, it will make a Christian do a double-take concerning their own salvation experience.

According to this verse the devils (demons) are not:

• Atheists
• Agnostic
• scientologists
• believers in humanism

Or of any other religion apart from the true living God. Notice that their faith in God causes them to tremble at His power and supremacy. There isn’t one particle of doubt concerning the reality of God in their beings. They even believe in the deity of Christ. On one occasion they cried out to Jesus, "What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God?" (Matthew 8:29). Reading this verse alone (James 2:19)  would cause most people to believe that demons are saved and on their way to living eternally in the blissful place of Heaven. However, they are doomed to Hell and have no relationship with Jesus Christ. How can this be since this verse says they believe in one God and even tremble?

Their belief has not affected their lives and behavior at all and this is the point of what James is speaking about in this entire chapter.

James 2:20-24 (KJV)
²⁰ But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?
²¹ Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar?
²² Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect?
²³ And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.
²⁴ Ye see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only.

A person can believe in the existence of God and even fear for their eternal future, but if that faith doesn’t produce action, it is meaningless. In other words it is talk without walk!

If I divorce, separate, and cut faith from works, then I will end up with a corpse.

James 2:26 (KJV)
²⁶ For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.

The moment my spirit leaves the body – it dies. This separation is what commences the state of death. Works do not produce faith, but faith is to produce deeds or actions. If we reverse this, we will fall into a works-based religion which nullifies the power of grace that God has extended to us. Allow me to show you a beautiful picture of what I am talking about which is found in James chapter one.

James 1:21-22 (KJV)
²¹ Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
²² But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.

The proof of my faith is evidenced by what I do. Instead of being a person who lets the Word go in one ear and out the other and then feeling good that I have at least attended church for the week… act on what you have heard! When I permit the Word to penetrate my heart and I act upon it, then God the gardener, will landscape my life with HIs Word and make me a beautiful garden reflecting his fertility.

Why is it so important to be a REAL Christian:

• personal enjoyment of God’s blessings in this life
• future eternal rewards and blessings in the next life
• impact and influence on others to participate in what you have experienced
• fulfill the privilege of being a representative of the Kingdom of God in every situation and atmosphere

The next time we all look in the mirror – lets say – Reuben (your name?) BE REAL!!! God bless   

Homosexuality–tell me the truth!

Genesis 1:28 (KJV)
²⁸ And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

God blessed this relationship between men and women. God encouraged this sexuality between men and women, and expected it to be fruitful. This is the ONLY sexual relationship blessed by God which is contained within the parameters of marriage. Sex is like a fire in a fireplace. As long as it remains inside the fireplace, the home is warmed and it contributes to the health of the home. However, if that fire gets outside of the fireplace, the home will be damaged or burned to the ground leaving destruction in it’s wake.

Every time something violates the principles and intended purpose of it’s creation; it will short circuit and prematurely destroy itself.

According to a 1993 report by the Family Research Institute.The average age of a homosexual man dying with AIDS is 39. The average age of gays dying of all other causes is 41. (The average heterosexual married man lives 75 years.) Only one percent of men who practice homosexual sex lives to be 65 or older. Gay men are three times more likely to have alcohol or drug abuse problems. Homosexuals are 14 times more likely to have had syphilis, and 23 times more likely to contract venereal diseases.

Much controversy is brewing over the legality of homosexuality today when it comes to what the bible says about it. The following is not exhaustive but at least you get an overview on how God views homosexuality at different periods throughout history and to our present time.  

1. Homosexuality was a grievous sin during the time of the Patriarchs.

In Gen 19:24-28, the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah is described. Peter describes the reason for the destruction of these cities were to serve as an example.

2 Peter 2:6 (KJV)
⁶ And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

Notice the Lord says this sin is very grievous.

Genesis 18:20 (KJV)
²⁰ And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;

This sin now is explained in the following as sodomy. These men were wanting sexual relationship with other males.

Genesis 19:5 (KJV)
⁵ And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them (have sexual relations with).

2. Homosexuality was a capital crime under the Law of Moses!

Leviticus 18:22 (KJV)
²² Thou shalt not lie (have sexual relations) with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination (abhorrent and detestable) .

Leviticus 20:13 (KJV)
¹³ If a man also lie (have sexual relations) with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination (abhorrent and detestable): they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

3. The New Testament clearly condemns homosexuality!

Romans 1:26-27 (KJV)
²⁶ For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
²⁷ And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Here’s the good news for those caught in the sin of homosexuality.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (KJV)
⁹   Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
¹⁰ Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

The words “nor abusers of themselves with mankind” is described by Joseph Thayer the noted Greek scholar as sodomites or homosexuals.

But here is the good news…

 ¹¹ And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.

Some of the Christians of Corinth had been homosexual before conversion but NOW they were set free!!!! Now that is GOOD NEWS! A person can repent of their sins and cry out for forgiveness and in a moment every stain removed and a new lifestyle immediately begins.

Those Self-Appointed Experts

I am always amazed at the fabrications and stories about me that I hear others have spread. I’m sure all of you have heard things about your life you had no idea existed until your personal self-appointed experts revealed it to the world. For example, I have found out through these experts that I

• was forced to marry because of Laci being pregnant
• was moving to a foreign country and leaving the church
• was a pastor from D.C. and commuted the 90 minutes every week
• had cancer and was dying

… and a 100 other stories that were as or more preposterous as the ones I mentioned above. Of course, none of them are true and would have been purely laughable if gullible people wouldn’t have believed them. However, before I feed self-pity and think I’m the only one to experience such a strange phenomenon, lets see if it happened to Jesus.
Jesus was accused of being:

• a deceiver (John 7:12).
• an illegitimate child (John 8:41).
• demon possessed (Matt. 9:34; John 7:20).
• Beelzebub, using the power of Satan to cast out demons (Matt. 10:25).
• mentally ill (John 10:20).
• a blasphemer – witnesses were produced to reinforce this charge (Matt. 9:3; 26:65; Mark 2:7)
• a destroyer of the Temple in Jerusalem (Mark 14:58).
• an enemy to the Law of Moses.

Matthew 10:25 (KJV)
²⁵ It is enough for the disciple that he be as his master, and the servant as his lord. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more shall they call them of his household?

Jesus made it clear that as they falsely accused him and fabricated stories that were grossly untrue, so will they do the same to us as his followers.

Paul was not immune to these false theories concerning his life and purposes. He was accused of:

• extorting God’s people (2 Cor. 2:17; 11:7-21).
• being a false apostle (Gal. 1:11-2:10; 2 Cor. 11:16-12:12).
• being a flatterer (1 Thess. 2:5).
• blasphemy (Acts 24:6).
• being a man pleaser and a coward (Gal. 1:10; 1 Thess. 2:4).
• being greedy (1 Thess. 2:5,9).
• being a deceiver and a crafty manipulator (2 Cor. 6:8; 12:16).
• seeking glory from men (1 Thess. 2:6).
• being a “cult” leader (Acts 24:5).
• being a criminal (Acts 16:20-21; 24:5; 2 Tim. 2:9).

These men dealt with these self-appointed judges almost on a daily basis. They realized that when you are in a position of authority and leadership, it will attract the ire of those in opposition. One thing the enemy knows – the power of words. Words can change a person’s reputation overnight and castrate the influence of that person from anymore opportunity to persuade others. If Satan didn’t understand this, he wouldn’t waste the time in influencing opposition to destroy reputations with the sabers of words.

What do we do to rise above the attacks? Live your life above reproach and with integrity so that when someone accuses you -  no one will believe it.
 
Remember, you don’t have to answer every critic. A lion doesn’t turn around every time a dog barks.

God’s Power not Horse Power

Mark 16:17-18 (KJV)
¹⁷ And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
¹⁸ They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Notice the words “them” and “they” in the above scriptures. All of the signs that previously followed Jesus are now PROMISED to all who will believe. Look at the following verse which explicitly reveals the Lord’s will in the transference of an anointing to do the same works he did.

John 14:12 (KJV)
¹² Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do shall he do also; and greater works than these shall he do; because I go unto my Father.

Now the the word “he” replaces the words “them” and “they” in Mark. Wow! What an opportunity to change the world and even the culture. However, we in the American church, seemingly have exchanged this glorious power and it’s Divine solutions to human problems for a reliance on human ability.

Recently someone said:

• When a sick person enters the church we send them to a doctor.
• When a poor person enters we send them to the welfare office.
• When someone is depressed, troubled or oppressed we send them to a psychiatrist to get a drug.

Then we gather in our old half empty buildings and wonder why the world thinks the church is irrelevant.

Most of the church today believes relevancy is achieved by dissolving itself into as many similarities with the world. Melting ourselves into obscurity when we should be shining standouts is a travesty of our Christian design.

The one-two punch of our influence is

1. living holy
2. our being empowered to do the works of Christ

Strip away these two vital influences and we become like what Samson said if he was stripped of the anointing “I will become as any other man.”

What distinguishes us is God’s supernatural power operating through us to change others while convincing them of his own existence. It is mind-blowing when I consider the privilege we as God’s people have been given. Why in the world would I want to exchange this for a cheap substitute that is severely limited by human ingenuity?

Let’s be honest, what method won

• 3000 on the Day of Pentecost?
• 5000 in Acts 4?
• multitudes in Acts 5?
• Cornelius and his household in Acts 10

Was it the result of a local hospital, medicine, psychiatry, motivational speaking, sports, youth programs… No, it was the result of one thing – miracles!! God’s power exercised and it working in tandem with the preaching of the Word of God. It really is that simple to be truly effective for the Lord. Let us massage our hunger into a fever pitch of yieldedness to this power of God and we WILL see and experience the same results.

Will be back soon...

I'm currently in the Philippines and will be back posting soon.

God bless

What In the World is God Doing?!

The following was a question posed to me recently and it is one many ask. I thought it would be good to publish an answer here on the Blog.

Why is it when tragedy happens,some say it is God's plan? Why would God plan something so terrible as to take a child from their parents,for example?

Saying such things in faulting God is common unfortunately. It is generally the result of ignorance of the

• purposes
• plans
• ways of God 

At the root of the problem with this argument is the forgetting of several things.

1. that our choices can produce tragedies and all sorts of bad results.
2. they forget that sin has produced diseases, sicknesses, and all kinds of maladies, that are not nor God ordained.
3. they forget there is a devil who exists and causes much by instigating fallen man in cooperating with him.
4. that there are natural phenomenon's such as earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes... and unfortunately the collateral damage includes human life. That doesn't mean God ordained it.

The fact is, fallen man, sin, Satan, weather phenomenon, etc., become contributing factors. A child dying prematurely is the result of sickness which was brought on by Adam's failure in the garden. Not the personal sin of the child or parents but the curses of Genesis an beyond will be with us until Jesus returns. However, the good news is, we can have faith in God and I have witnessed many being healed and liberated from whatever malady it may have been.

Jesus dealt with this on several occasions.

In John, people tried to blame the blindness on the son and/or the parent’s personal sin as the cause. Jesus answers that it is not necessarily the case.

John 9:1-3 (KJV)
¹  And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
² And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
³ Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.

In Luke, people try to blame tragedy on the victim’s personal sin. Jesus states that tragedies are not indicative of someone’s spiritual altitude. He says that everyone is susceptible to bad things happening. 

Luke 13:2-5 (KJV)
² And Jesus answering said unto them, Suppose ye that these Galilaeans were sinners above all the Galilaeans, because they suffered such things?
³ I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.
⁴ Or those eighteen, upon whom the tower in Siloam fell, and slew them, think ye that they were sinners above all men that dwelt in Jerusalem?
⁵ I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.

IN the next verse, the Lord makes the point that ALL – saints and sinners will suffer tragedies and hardships in this life.

Matthew 5:45 (KJV)
⁴⁵ That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

However, can their be self-inflicted tragedy and sickness? Yes there can. For example, a person smokes three packs of cigarettes a day can become personally responsible for causing cancer in their body. Tragedy is the same way. If I CHOOSE to go 100mph down the road and I fail to negotiate a turn and hit a tree head-on and die – I caused it! Some will get up and say at my funeral “I don’t understand why God took Reuben.” The fact is – God did not take Reuben – I took myself out by choosing to violate laws. Sadly, people hear the minister or someone say it and they leave confused about this God who seems out of control, and seems to do things that violate his own scripture.

Here are some things to remember:

• our choices have a consequence
• don’t forget there is a devil
• God does not authorize every tragedy

God is NOT in control of everything that happens!! I know what you’re thinking “Reuben you just blasphemed!” No I did not and I can prove it. I want to ask some questions and you think about it.

1. Was it God’s will for the girl who was raped last night?
2. Did God say “Today, so-and-so’s time is up, so make sure they have a head-on collision and die”
3. Do you really believe that God woke up this morning and decided to throw a disease on a 3 year old?
4. Do you think that God is in control of destroying children in portions of Africa with starvation?

No to all four questions! God is not bi-polar and a loose cannon in his decision making and governorship. Here are the facts. We live in a fallen world full of the degradation that sin produces. Do not forget the fact that natural phenomenon is naturally occurring such as hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and other adverse weather patterns. They have the ability to destroy the just and the unjust and their cause was not God or the devil – sometimes things just happen.

The bottom line is this. Be ready by being born-again and be a light to ALL people. Instead of looking for the fault of many things, let’s focus on the solution for the human soul. Biblical wisdom is this – a divine solution to a human problem. Jesus is called the wisdom of God. Why? Because he is the divine solution to the human problem of sin.

Believe on him and be saved today!