“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” – William James
Some years ago, an evangelist told me about his first date with his future wife. When she got in the car, he took notice she placed a bible between them on the seat. He asked her why she put the bible between them and she responded “if you are going to get to me, you will have to go through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John first!” I never forgot that and I appreciated her placing God at the beginning and center of this possible relationship. I believe all new relationships would benefit greatly if they started out on this proverbial right foot.
The value of the Word of God is inestimable. Like food is to the physical body, so is God’s word to the spiritual man. It is referred to in 1st Timothy 4:6 as food that nourishes the spiritual person. When the bible is kept alive by a husband and wife practicing its principles, then success is guaranteed. Their marriage will be nourished and be healthy instead of famished and dying. Colossians 3:16 says “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” When it lives in us then it creates sustained joy, peace, love, and develops our strength.
You don't need a man as much as you need the Word!
When the need of a person becomes more pressing than the criteria being met for who I commit to, then I am headed for trouble. You don’t need a man you want, but a man God wants for you!
Points for effective communication and relationship
Be careful of what and how you say things.
18 There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health.Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
Remember, there are always two sides to every story.
He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him.
Speak words that encourage the spouse
Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Let love rule
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud
5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Allow no competition to make the spouse feel less than your priority.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Grow up and become mature by putting away the childish pursuits.
2 Timothy 2:22Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
Remain committed to each other and accept each other’s family as your own
Ruth 1:1616 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
Be careful of who your friends are
1 Corinthians 5:99 I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:1 Corinthians 15:33 (NASB)Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
Be honest and open with each other. If there is a misstep, be willing to forgive and permit healing to take place
James 5:1616 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.1 Peter 4:8And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
Keep God at the center of the relationship at all times
Psalm 46:55 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.