Influence Requires Integrity to Provide Force for Change

We can’t push and force what we believe on another person. I can tie a man’s hands and shackle his feet and dangle him over a fire and force him to accept my way of thinking, but really did I change his heart or did he just say it to stop me from destroying him? So, really what did I accomplish? Why not allow people to make up their own minds and then accept their decision without exacting any form of revenge. If you want someone to convert or come to your way of thinking – why not do it like the sun did in the following story. 

The wind and the sun were arguing one day over who could get a man’s coat off. The wind blew and blew, but the man just wrapped the coat tighter. That’s exactly how being pushy works. After the wind failed to blow the coat off, the sun simply shone and the man took it off by himself.

 
Matthew 5:14-16 (KJV)
¹⁴ Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
¹⁵ Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
¹⁶ Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

This puts the responsibility on me to live honestly and place importance on exerting my beliefs into action. I do not convert by force but by compelling others through my quality of living.

Even Mahatma Gandhi understood this principle when he said "To believe in something and not to live it is dishonest." 

Influence requires integrity to provide force for change. Integrity is the unity of thought, speech, and deed. In other words it is the complete opposite of hypocrisy. Live your life in such a way that when a person lies on you that no one believes it.  

Be like the sun – SHINE! 

- Dr. Reuben Egolf 

Pain is Inevitable but Success can Still be Achieved

Pain unfortunately is inevitably faced in life and every person will go through the crucibles of bad experiences. There will be three types of pain you will encounter in life. 

The pain of

1. Self-discipline

2. Regret

3. Loss

Self-discipline can be painful but it is a temporal pain that ceases at the reward of success and improved intestinal fortitude. Self-discipline involves acting according to your principles instead of how you feel in the moment. It involves the foregoing of pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore, the foregoing of temporal pleasure may be painful to the flesh. However, it is a temporal pain worth enduring as a tradeoff for the ultimate sustained success in the future. We all understand that hindsight is 20/20. I promise, if you endure the temporal pain self-discipline induces now, you will look back someday and say “it was worth it!”

Discipline is freedom. Many people believe it’s a word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. Stephen R. Covey wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. In the longer term, the undisciplined people lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities – e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.

The pain of regret is oftentimes the results of forgoing self-discipline. Impatience and lack of thought being invested in a decision leads to the pain of regret. As we mature in life the pains of regret should be lessening. With maturity comes patience and the evaluating of our decisions by looking at the consequences first.

The pain of loss is determined by context. Is the loss a marriage, financial, friendship, or employment? Regardless of which one it is, our dealing with it depends solely on how we respond. Dealing with all loss except the loss of a loved one begins with taking personal responsibility. Pain can be a teachable moment if we permit it. When we encounter pain we simultaneously come to a crossroad in our lives. If we choose the road of humility and accept responsibility for our decisions and actions, we can learn from them for future references. Experience is not a good teacher unless we learn from our experiences. However, I can choose the road of pride by not accepting responsibility and blaming others and circumstances for my failures. This highway leads to a life of misery, heartache, and discouragement. Again, as we mature in life, loss created by personal decisions should be lessening.  

Thought

Only consult your past when looking to learn from it. Never look to the past to stew and ferment your failures to relive them in your mind. Remember the lesson but forget the pain. Move on and live on! 



Philippians 3:13-14 
 ¹³  Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
   ¹⁴  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. 

What you think on eventually you will speak. Control the tongue by controlling the mind.  

 Proverbs 18:21
²¹  Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.